20-year-old daughter refuses to let family use her lakehouse after stepmom asks to go there on vacation, then demands the kids sleep in tents outside: ‘You just view me as a house key’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Mar 10, 2026 6:00 PM EDT

Family vacations are fun, but only in theory. Anyone who has even been on one can tell you just how much fun they've had… and how much drama they had to deal with.

To be fair, we know not all families are dramatic to a point where you prefer to avoid going on a family vacation together, but surely we all know at least one family that hasn't gone on a trip together because they know everything will fall apart while they are there. But when you are in your 20s and have never been on one with your dad and your step-family, you might be more inclined to agree to a family getaway anyway.

That is, at least, until you find out that the only reason you have been invited is so that the family can use your lakehouse as their personal Airbnb. Not only that, but they also expect you to sleep in a tent outside while they enjoy the lovely lakehouse all to themselves.

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    Portrait of Beautiful Smiling Young Female Outdoors
    via Valerii Honcharuk

    Portrait of Beautiful Smiling Young Female Outdoors.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    WIBTAH for not letting family use the lakehouse?

    My (20sM) wife "Natalie's" (20sF) maternal grandmother "Cindy" owns a lakehouse in a rural area about an hour north of our house.
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    This house is a regular mini vacation spot for most of the family, as a big group or as nuclear families, and near everyone has a key to it.
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    Natalie's late grandpa built this house and it holds a lot of value to them. Her dad "Nathan" spent a lot of time up there as well, but he and Natalie's mom divorced in her teens and from my understanding it wasn't the easiest of divorces and her parents generally don't intermingle much anymore.
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    So he doesn't have an open invite to the lakehouse anymore. Nathan remarried "Kim" when our relationship was still fairly new.
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    Kim did not get along well with Natalie, my MIL, or Natalie's little brother "Ben" at first - commenting on how Ben's hair was too long for a boy, how Natalie's eating habits were going to make her gain weight, and other things like that which were simply not her business.
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    When I came around, she would make comments about me as well that were less than welcoming.
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    Admittedly, I did snap at her over these comments eventually. There's a lot more we could unravel here, but we're just going to leave it with the long and short of I blew up at her one day regarding her behavior to everyone, and since then she has stayed in her lane.
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    I'd even go as far as to say we are all friendly now. We come around for holidays, Natalie's been able to get close to her dad again - who was pretty passive through all of this and it's been pretty alright the last few years.
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    It'd be naïve of me to say her and us love each other but it's fine.
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    The peace is kept, and Natalie's been happy for her dad. Well today, we thought we've really made another great step - Kim reached out to Natalie, inviting us on a family trip.
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    This hasn't happened before. Kim and Nathan go on vacations with Kim's children often enough, we haven't ever been invited before.
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    Lakehouse nature scenic
    via JessieEldora

    Lakehouse nature scenic.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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    We havent put a lot of thought into that. After all, we are young new homeowners, we cant often take off work, its how it goes.
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    But the sudden invite was pretty exciting. She gave details. It would be Nathan's parents and his sister's family, plus Natalies cousins, Ben, and Kim's kid.
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    A decent size group. We said we were interested. Then she gets into plan details. No airbnb was large enough without a notable cost, and multiple individual hotel rooms would be costly, so as another possible option she thought it'd be a good idea to plan a trip to the Lakehouse.
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    She'd be willing to pay something to Cindy of course for allowing them to use the property.
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    Natalie did ask Cindy for her, and Cindy's understandably hesitant to have that many people over all at once from her ex SIL's family, and had concern because there's not enough beds.
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    There would be a small handful of people without a bed, even after the foldout's been used.
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    Here's where it gets really iffy to me. Natalie let her know this, and Kim's solution?
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    All "us kids" can sleep in tents outside. Specifically implying Natalie and me. This rubs me the wrong way for a couple reasons.
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    One being that while not everyone would have a bed, there WOULD be enough for at least some of the kids.
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    And while I'd have had no issue talking it out amongst ourselves and might have even offered to bring a blowup mattress, it would definitely be an option for us to at least take the bunkbeds or something.
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    On top of that, I have multiple medical issues that cause me chronic pain and bone issues that everyone's aware of.
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    I can't simply sleep outside on the ground. It would ruin my week. The second issue I have is that Natalie is the ONE connection they have to this house now.
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    So to invite us on something as a couple for the first time ever, Natalie never even having taken a weekend trip with her dad since the divorce, and then conveniently think of using the house feels very much set up to me in the first place.
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    And then to expect us to sleep in the yard while everyone else is inside? Natalie is bummed, and I am agitated, that this invite is seeming less and less about including us, and more and more like Kim just views her as a house key.
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    But if we don't help them use the lakehouse, the original trip money and space concerns may cause it to be cancelled or for some people to not be able to go, and would probably cause another round of drama.
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    (Edit: the drama is the biggest worry after Natalies relationships have finally stabilized with her dad, and i dont want to damage that if we can help it) So,
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    The ultimate question here is... Would we be the ah les if we refuse to use the lakehouse as a venue?
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  • My husband's parents, for example, keep inviting the kids for a family getaway, even though every time we've all been on one has been a complete disaster. The most recent one was last July; my husband and I opted out because we could already tell the outcome, and the rest of the kids have not spoken to each other ever since because of some petty drama that took place on day one.

    Some families are simply not built for that.

    The question is, should the couple in this story agree to give the keys to the lakehouse so that the family can use it for their vacation? Or should they refuse this obvious excuse for family bonding simply so that the family can have a discounted trip to a cozy lakehouse they have no business being at? 

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Tags

family drama kids mother siblings stepmom lakehouse parenting family women family vacation parents children Father vacation
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